whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said  “Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad) I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

hushedsarcasm:

when u draw somethin really good outa no where like

image

wtf where did that come from hand? ?? ?

armadillo:

its kinda scary how your whole life depends on how well you do as a teenager 

(Source: unsavioured)

bum-lou:

jakemalik:

everyone has that 1 favourite place to take selfies

mine is in another dimension where im good looking 

omgbunnyrabbits:

Pretty bunny playing with flower petals.

owlmylove:

shslequius:

"Maybe if you go to bed you’ll feel better in the morning" is literally just the human version of "Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"

what have you done

(Source: clgdoublelifts)

genocidercyo:

clockey:

you’re the window to my wall

you’re the sweat that drips down my balls

Is that a pick up line or sex talk, I just can’t decide.

(Source: zephye)

potatofreek:

penis-hilton:


hugcartel:

why is the mom telling her daughter she’s ready to shave?

why is the mom calling her daughter mom


maybe they are each other’s moms

Maybe that’s just their name.